4 Reasons to Buy Girl Scout Cookies Right Now!

Hey, you!

Stop whatever you’re doing right now and go buy a box of Girl Scouts cookies.

Oh, you want to finish reading my blog?  That’s very considerate of you, but don’t worry.  I’ll wait.

Preferably from this kid.

Did you do it?

No?

Why not?

Oh, wait, let me guess:

Argument 1: But, Why?

To support Girl Scouts.  Duh.

You see every box of cookies you buy helps provide money not only to the nation-wide Girls Scouts of the USA, but part of it goes directly to that girl’s particular troop.  Your cold, hard cash is directly helping that girl who is selling you a box of cookies.  Isn’t that great?

No?  You need more?

Ok, maybe you’re not a parent.  Or you don’t have any daughters.  Is supporting Girl Scouts still important? 

Yes, of course it is!

The Girl Scouts are not just about teaching girls how to sell stuff.  These girls are learning how to be leaders, how to be good citizens and how to be good humans, how to care for their world and take care of each other, and how to be themselves with confidence and strength.  And as these girls grow up, they will use what they’ve learned to do amazing things.  Whether you personally have a daughter, or know a young girl, or not, you still have a vested interest in helping these girls, and indeed all girls, succeed.  Because our world, our future, will be in better hands if the girls who are growing up now grow up believing that they should always serve God (or whatever supreme being or greater good it is that they choose to serve), serve their country, and always help people, in addition to being honest, fair, considerate, caring, courageous, strong, etc., etc.

And these girls will grow up.  They will do amazing things.  The world will be in their hands.  So you really want them to be prepared for that.

Plus, you get to eat cookies!  That’s a win-win!

Argument 2: Cookies Are Junk Food.  Girl Scouts Are Contributing to Obesity.

First of all, are you serious?

Secondly, the Girl Scout cookie is a continuation of a long tradition, one nearly everyone reading this has engaged in at some point: the Bake Sale.

Bake sales came about through simple necessity.  Kids needed stuff.  Parents often can’t afford to give their kids EVERYTHING they need (we try, but it really is nearly impossible).  Other grown-ups don’t want to give them the money.

For example, maybe the school district can’t afford paper.  (You laugh; I remember this happening.)  Because having locally-elected politicians who are huge high school football fans is somehow the best model we have for an education system.  But I digress.  How do we get paper so the students can, you know, write stuff?

Parents bake things and sell them, and the money goes to the school to buy paper (or that new scoreboard they’ve been eyeing, because sometimes people are awful).  That’s how bake sales work.

When the Girl Scouts were first starting out, they needed money to be able to do activities, to buy supplies, to do Girl Scout stuff.  So, they started holding bake sales, and those bake sales eventually turned into door-to-door cookies sales, which now have become the well-oiled cookie machine we have today.

One of the things I spend time on with my troop during our meetings is teaching them the traditions of Girl Scouts.  These can be songs, games, old uniforms, stories from former Girl Scouts.  It’s a little awkward for me, since, you know, I really wasn’t ever a Girl Scout, but you get the point.  I try to teach them that they are here today, learning to be Girl Scouts, because of all the Girl Scouts who came before them.  And one of those traditions is cookie selling.  That cookie selling also teaches them about being responsible for money, teaches them multiplication, and teaches them how to talk to people in a courteous and professional manner is just icing on the cake, or in this case, on the cookie.

And really, they are not that bad for you.  They’re just cookies.  Pretty small ones, too.  You don’t have to eat the entire box in one sitting.  They will last for a good while (even longer if you freeze them!), so just show a little self-control.  It will be ok.  I’m here for you.

And as it happens, these cookies have nothing at all to do with obesity in this country.  Even if you consider these cookies “junk food,” a recent study of average Americans showed no correlation between junk food and weight gain, pointing out that it really is just matter of how many calories you take it, not the form those calories take.

So like I said, don’t eat the whole box.  You’ll be fine.  And remember, Thin Mints are vegan!

Really!

And if you really don't want to eat them, the Girls Scouts will be happy to donate to someone who does.

Argument 3: I Was Planning to Buy Beer, Instead.

And good for you, I say.  I can’t really relate, since I make my own, but I sort of get the concept: You’re thinking about beer.  That’s fine.  I think about beer all the time.  That’s no reason to deprive yourself of Girl Scout cookies.

In fact, the opposite is true.  You can pair your beer with Girl Scout cookies!

There are several articles out there already that follow this concept.  I agree with some, not so much with others. 

Now, it’s my turn.

Say, for instance, you, like myself, are enjoying a nice Irish stout.  

Hello Darkness, my old friend.

Well, go grab yourself a box of tagalongs.  You’ll thank me later.

Prefer thin mints?  Very popular choice.  And why not?  Their cool and crisp, with a clean and refreshing taste.  Try them with a clean-finishing lager.

Shortbread trefoils, go for a brown ale.

Samoas, invest in a good, strong Belgian ale.

Lemony savannah smiles work with witbier.

As for peanut butter do-si-does, in what will probably be my most controversial suggestion, think along the lines of a really grown-up peanut butter and jelly and pair it with a cherry kriek or raspberry framboise (both of which are styles of sour lambic, in case you didn’t know).

Now, if you’re munching on toffeetastic gluten-free cookies, you’ll probably be looking for something equally gluten-free.  I made a sparkling mead that fits the bill, but in the average beer store, you’ll probably have to stick with cider, or one of the few decent gluten-free beers (Bards is a good choice).

There!  Now, you’ve got no excuses!

Argument 4: But Why Do They Have to Be Girl Scouts?  Isn’t That Discrimination?

You’re gonna make me work for this sale, aren’t ya?

Ok, fine.  Challenge accepted.

Actually, this is a question a friend of mine posed to me a little while ago.  (To be fair to my friend, she was playing Devil’s advocate, not actually accusing the Girl Scouts of discrimination.)  She said, “What if a boy wanted to join the Girl Scouts?”

Nope, I said.  Girl Scouts needs to be there for girls.  I’m not going to argue that girls are different from boys, because I don’t ever argue that, but we have a society that constantly teaches our kids that very lesson. 

We teach our kids, through our shared societal norms, that a girl in a room full of boys is a little like a flute in an orchestra of trumpets.  And I’ve even seen my own daughter say something similar to me, about the “boys” in her class.

But I know my daughter, and I know she’s no flute.  I’m not sure yet if she’s a telecaster or a Stratocaster, but I know she’s not a flute.  And she needs an environment where she can find her instrument, and what kind of music she wants to play (I know, I’m stretching this metaphor pretty thin), without needing to constantly counter the implied gender differences of our society.

And those implied differences have real-life implications that once kept women from owning property, or voting, or working, and even today stand in the way of many careers and ensures that women are consistently underpaid compared to males doing the exact same job.  Women, in other words, have been and continue to be undervalued by society.  The way to combat that is not to pretend it doesn’t exist and teach that there are no differences between males and females, but rather to help change society from the bottom on up.  I want to teach my daughter that she can be or do anything in life, and I want to prepare her to lead a society where this is true (as opposed to the people leading our society now, where it isn’t).  That is where Girl Scouts has its place, as it teaches girls about being both citizens and leaders, and focuses on the experiences of girls, specifically, through history and all around the world.

Because yes, I know, if you look at statistics, even objective, scientifically valid statistical analysis, there are differences, on average, between girls and boys.

But that’s not important.  Because no one is completely average.  Outliers abound.

For instance, I know that my son has a statistically higher chance of winning a Nobel Prize than my daughter, based on a google a search I just did, which tells me that, in the history of Nobel Prizes, 825 men have won, versus just 49 women.

But statistics like that never tell the whole story.  They never tell the stories that I try to tell my Girl Scout troop.  To remind them of what they are all capable of.  Because I know that the first Nobel Prize awarded to a woman was awarded to Marie Curie in 1903, in the field of physics.  Then, in 1911, Curie was awarded a second Nobel Prize for chemistry.  That means that, not only was she the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, she remains the first and only human being to ever receive two Nobel Prizes in two different fields.  Because there is no reason that girls can’t be that awesome.

And while Marie Curie was not a Girl Scout, Girl Scouts have done some pretty amazing things!  

And that is why we need Girl Scouts.  To teach them that they can be awesome, and that differences do not mean inferiority, and that someday, they will lead, they will be confident, be courageous, and make the world a better place.  For girls.  And for women.  And for boys and men, too, because helping one means helping the other.

That’s what your buying.  Not cookies.  A better future.

Now, enough chit-chat.  Buy some damned cookies!