That would be stupid, for a number of reasons, including but not limited to:
1. I'm a guy who makes coffee for a living. My opinions on gun control have about the same authority as the NRA's opinion of Starbucks.
2. I've made my opinions clear on this blog elsewhere. Quite a bit. They haven't change. I don't like repeating myself.
3. If you're reading this blog, unless you've been suckered in by someone you generally trust but who likes sneaking inflammatory anti-gun propaganda to you while you're not looking, I'm assuming you already share my point of view, or at least are aware of it.
So I admit to not being a gun control expert, just a modest advocate. And I'm also a dad, whose daughter regularly participates in lockdown drills. And I'm not totally okay with that. Because people shouldn't be. So maybe I should stay out of any gun control debate, but as you see, it turns out I've got something at stake here after all. Plus, I try to live my life so I will get attacked by Russian trolls on Twitter.
I have to believe that this is what they look like. Donald is the one of the left. |
But now comes the time when people start immediately yelling at each other. Arguments are thrown around, the same ones, repeated over and over, and we build up a world of noise that blocks the pain we should be feeling over the loss of human life and the natural desire any decent person feels in such a situation to do something to make it better. And I truly believe that most gun owners in America are decent human beings who feel true pain at the thought of such tragedy. Gun owners, I'm certain, want our kids to be safe in their schools.
We need to do something. We know that, but we disagree on what must be done, and rather than starting from our common ground, the shouting and horrid, disgusting rhetoric employed makes it so much easier to do nothing. To throw up our arms. To blame society, overall. To say there's nothing that would prevent this. That effective gun control that would save lives while not infringing on basic individual rights is impossible.
Excuse me, I thought we were America. We specialize in doing the impossible! Create a stable government without a monarch? Impossible! End slavery? Impossible! Go to the moon? Impossible! We should be passing national gun control laws just for the sheer American hell of it!
But then the shouting begins. And most of it starts with the National Rifle Association, which seems hell-bent on stopping any gun control, no matter how socially beneficial it might be. Not for any good reason, but just based on principle. (Pro-tip: If your principles involve defending the right of a teenage boy to buy an AR-15, you don't have any. I know what I'm talking about. I used to be a teenage boy.)
So, when you get caught up in the inevitable argument with someone who believes in the scared status of the second amendment and the American right to guns, here's a few fun tips you might use to politely tell the myopic gun supporters where they can shove their bump stocks, if you catch my meaning. And yes, I pulled many of these phrases and arguments from the NRA's website, which I cannot say enough that you should never, ever, ever go to. That way only madness lies. But I took a trip down that rabbit-hole so you won't have to. You're welcome.
1. "Gun control won't stop crime."
This appeared in multiple places on the NRA's website. Like, a lot. Almost like they're trying to repeat something so much so that you will eventually believe it. "Gun registration won't prevent or solve crimes." "Universal background checks won't prevent or solve crimes." "Gun owner licensing won't prevent or solve crimes."And I just have to call bullshit. No, it won't solve all gun-related crime, but you're telling me that a national gun registry wouldn't be a useful tool for law enforcement? We have a national DNA database which individuals may be in for a variety of reasons. Why not have a database of registered firearms, too? This is a simple, basic, unobtrusive step. Background checks are already required for many purchases, this is an expansion of existing law, and shouldn't be controversial. Unless you've got something to hide. I'm looking at you, Donald.
2. "Less registration means less crime."
One of the other big claims on the NRA's website is that gun control laws don't stop criminals from getting guns. They say this over and over, as though trying to do something to improve public safety is pointless because it won't work anyway. Furthermore, citing mostly accurate statistics, the NRA would like to take credit for the violent crime rate in our country being at a 44-year low. And their argument is that their political push to prevent gun control is a cause of lower crime rates. Nice try. Logical fallacy: Correlation could not equal causation. We did nothing, because nothing will work, and look, it worked! This is like me taking credit for the internet. There are 100% more cat memes during the course of my lifetime. You're welcome, world!
There are myriad factors that have contributed to the reduction in the violent crime rate over the decades, and a good amount of debate exists over the most important factors. The NRA's opposition to gun control doesn't factor in. And their flat dismissal of restrictions and legislation that we haven't given a decent chance is infuriating. We tried an "assault weapon" ban in the 1990s, with a built-in expiration date in case it didn't work. (I know, the term "assault weapon" is misleading and meaningless. All guns are assault weapons, but the category is arbitrary. I won't use it again.) This was kind of a smart move, trying a restriction and making it temporary, to see if it has the desired effect. We should do more of this.
3. "Gun control laws are actually racist."
I actually love this argument. The NRA argues that gun laws used to be used to keep guns out of the hands of African-Americans, which is true, in the aftermath of the Civil War. But then, all laws were used to keep African-Americans from doing something after the Civil War. Hey, I'm Irish. The English used to keep us from owning horses. But, and I hope I'm not being too cynical, I have a hard time believing a group that is by its own numbers more than 60% white is big on protecting the rights of African-Americans today.
4. "They're just actors."
Every time there is a national gun tragedy, and people are accused of politicizing it, someone is going to claim that the victims are actors, pretending to be victims, paid by anti-gun political groups. Please. My daughter watches the Disney Channel. I've seen "Jessie," "Liv and Maddie," and "Lab Rats." Young actors are terrible.
5. "Good guys with guns will stop bad guys with guns."
Hey, remember back during the Cold War when the Russians were bad guys who wanted to destroy America. I know, seems laughable in retrospect.
Oh, you don't remember? Well, I grew up in the eighties. I remember Reagan, and the MX missiles and the Star Wars initiative. And I remember believing that we were all going to die in a fiery nuclear holocaust.
It was freaking terrifying.
I do not want a Reagan-style arms race happening right on our streets, or worse, in our schools, with everyone wondering who has the bigger gun. I don't want to wonder if the guy pulling out the assault rifle is the good guy or the bad guy. I don't want my kids believing they will die in the crossfire of a gun fight between a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun. The Cold War was bad. Please stop.
6. "Guns don't kill people. People kill people."
Yeah. With guns.
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I follow Trump on Twitter, so that's saying something.
7. "You liberal Socialist commies just want to take away my guns!"
First, is a liberal Socialist commie even a thing? Just asking.
The government, regardless of the party in power, is not coming for your guns. This is not the beginning of some totalitarian police state where woefully unarmed individuals have no means of defending themselves from the overreach of government authority.
You really want to keep your guns so you can resist the totalitarian government of the United States of America? If the government wants to use the military to take away all your rights, your gun fetish collection, no matter how impressive and scary to a classroom of children, will be next to worthless against the most powerful military machines the world has ever known. The argument is completely absurd. So absurd that if you encounter anyone making this argument, that they need to hold onto their guns to defend themselves from the government, your best reaction will be to offer them a tin-foil hat and back away slowly.
7. "They just want to trample on my rights."
The "rights" they are talking about here boil down to the second amendment to the Constitution. For those of you wondering, the second amendment reads, in its entirety:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Yes, we're going to talk about the second amendment, which seems to say that Americans have a right to own guns. Even the Supreme Court has said so. Pretty solid case, right? Um, no, not really. If you're in an argument about gun ownership and someone whips out the ol' second amendment argument, that means you've basically won.
Yes, the second amendment to the Constitution does say Americans have a right to keep and bear arms, and by arms, it does mean guns, not like a pre-industrial Doctor Octopus. (Though that would be cool. Sam Raimi, call me!)
But the Constitution, as it was written and adopted in 1787 grants lots of rights. It includes the right to own slaves. Any document, of whatever historical value, that is totally cool with people owning other people has definitely lost any moral authority over our current debates. Saying that the rights guaranteed in the Constitution are somehow universal and sacred conflates the Constitution with the Declaration of Independence, which states that certain rights are sacred and "inalienable," including Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Pretty sure a guy with a gun has infringed on those rights for certain high school students recently, and that's simply unacceptable.
We have a method for amending the Constitution for a reason. Let's use it.
So while I believe in and will defend the right to gun ownership, and the right to self-defense, I also believe in the necessity of realistic regulations and restrictions on firearms. I don't believe these are mutually exclusive ideas. Meanwhile, the NRA seems to be focused on denial and obstruction. Almost like they're scared of losing the money and political influence they've gained over the years if people finally find a solution to gun violence in our country.
But never forget that while the NRA is a powerful political machine, it's far, far less powerful than the concerted effort of individuals writing and calling their Congressional representatives and demanding action. And voting the shitheads out when they don't act. So get going. Demand answers. Demand action. Hold them accountable. Need to know who to call?
Here you go.
You know what to do.